I am the father of six children, aged 16 years to 3 years. My wife and I have always taken all of our children to Mass. Here are some things we have learned over the years:
- Never "split" (spouses attend different Masses) in order to keep the children at home no matter what their ages. Sometimes it's difficult to get them all ready to go; but, if they see you are willing to make the effort week after week, they will know it must be important.
- Go to an early Mass or eat breakfast before you come so hunger won't be a problem. For toddlers (and only for toddlers), you might bring some cereal in a plastic bag. Never feed them anything with sugar--toddler jet fuel. Also, don't let them see it until they start to squirm. Be sure to pick up any leftovers before you leave.
- Dress up for Church. Children know that you always dress up when you go to something important. Whenever you have important visitors to your home you dress up. When you go to your boss' house for dinner, you dress up. When you go to the House of God, you wear shorts and a tee-shirt. Unless your children are incredibly stupid, they are going to attach the appropriate level of importance to God. Church is a special place.
- Bathroom break for everyone before you leave for church.
- Always get to Mass a little early. Never, never come late and try not to come too early (more than 10 minutes early and you are asking for trouble). Coming late forces you to hurry and "hypes up" the kids.
- Try to sit in the front pew. (Your first inclination is to find a back pew near the escape door.) From the front pew, children of all sizes can see what is going on instead of the back of some ten-foot giant. When they see, they can become interested; when they can't, they become bored. Do you want them interested in Mass or bored with it?
- Always, always, always genuflect and remind each child as they enter the pew to genuflect to the tabernacle. If you genuflect and they genuflect, even when no one else is doing it, they will feel less self-conscious about it as they get older. Remember on Good Friday, we bow to the altar because Jesus is not present in the tabernacle.
- If you want your children to behave at Mass, then you must behave. If you are going to socialize in the pews, they are going to socialize in the pews. If they socialize in the pews, you will have greater difficulty settling them down for Mass.
- Do NOT bring toys except for religious books. The children need to know this is a special time to be with God and not an extension of play time. Infants may want something quiet to chew on (Not a book.)
- If your parish offers a Children's Liturgy of the Word or Children's Church, accompany your child a few times to make sure they are comfortable with the teachers and you are comfortable with what's being taught. Most programs are excellent and help bring the Gospel to children in an understandable way.
- Do not be concerned if your toddler occasionally (or even more often) sits on the floor making faces or sulking or fidgeting. For the most part you are the only one who can see what goes on below the level of the pew. If they are not making noise or bothering anyone, you're better off not making an issue of it.
- Help your children become interested through explanation. I have found the best way is to keep your faces at the same level and speak in a very low, reverential tone into their ear. Most of the time, they will listen; they love the attention.